I’ve finished reading Singled Out by Bella DePaulo, PhD about how singles are stereotyped, stigmatized, and ignored and still live happily ever after.
Bella DePaulo, PhD gives us a meticulously researched, rigorously rational counterpoint to the most pervasive myths about single women and single men.
I would give her book 10 stars on Amazon if I could. The reviewers on Amazon often trashed her book and I wondered why.
Why are most people in society threatened if you’re a happy, successful single woman or man who does their own thing? Why are those of us who do our own thing repeatedly attacked because we chose not to get married and have children?
I will not comment on how woman are regarded as asexual spinsters or wanton sluts if we’re not married with children. Except to say that our romantic status is no one’s business. I feel no need to justify how I live my own life to the anonymous haters on the Internet that post attacks in the comments section below news articles.
Bella DePaulo, PhD tells it like it is.
She excoriates the “get-married!” politicians who force poor women to take relationship classes when they’re collecting welfare because the politicians think marriage will lift them out of poverty. Like I wrote in here before no middle class or rich person is going to date and marry a poor woman or man. Poor people who marry each other won’t lift each other out of poverty. And their kids won’t be any better off.
The worst ongoing stereotype that the author exposes is this preening stupidity that all women are better off if they’re married. Some of the women who were forced to take the relationship classes in order to receive government benefits had been physically and emotionally abused by their child’s father.
The media does have a bias in how it reports news articles about single men and women too.
Say what you want about Condoleezza Rice I was always impressed with her extraordinary accomplishments. I think she is smart, accomplished, and anyone else would do well to aspire to have her ambition.
Yet Bella DePaulo, PhD exposes how the media focused only on the fact that Condi was perpetually single and that the dates that her friends set her up with led nowhere.
Whereas one male high-ranking government official was cheered on because he “made his own luck” and had a wife sitting next to him on the government plane. To boot he told his wife state secrets and no one thought anything ill of this.
Bella and Condi, rock on. Rock on all women and men who dare defy convention and who do our own thing.
Having kids and driving them to soccer in a mini-van is not the be all and end all of a woman’s existence.
The haters who attack happy, healthy, and successful singles are just jealous and have a lot invested in maintaining the status quo.
I say: rock on all single folk.
Cheers to doing our own thing.